An evening on the Autobahn by Kenny Stetson
Winter is creeping up on the cities of central Europe. Somehow I always forget how friggin' cold winters are and then it annoys me when they come round. Someday in the future I'll live in a warm country, sending postcards to people in bad weather places. Last Friday I came down with stomach flu at work and was forced to go to the John about six times in four hours. Perhaps the worst day in the office ever. Even so, I got in the car and started out towards Frankfurt after dark, a two-and-a-half hour drive in good conditions. The throttle cable and the cardan shaft still need replacing. The throttle cable somehow gets stuck during acceleration and keeps the throttle from retracting. Like cruise control which can't be switched off.
After about forty-five minutes of driving, eating pretzels and drinking coke to counter my abdominal condition, sickness and exhaustion overwhelmed me. I stopped at a decrepit 1970s Autobahn roadhouse and sat in the dark with locked doors. At night these places are crowded with truckers, prostitutes and charlatans trying to kick money out of travelers. Eventually I forced myself to get out and walk towards the building in search of a latrine. The radio in the toilet area played tacky Italian pop music and there was an advertisement for fireplaces on the door of the cubicle. Coming back through the building I walked through a deserted cafeteria area which smelled revolting to me at the time. My stomach began contracting as I left the building, so I walked faster and made it to a dark spot near one of those wooden picnic table things before spewing 1.5 litres of warm Coke with Pretzels. The Coke was still sweet. Not surprising really, since one litre contains more than 50 sugar cubes.
Now feeling very empty, I returned to the bathroom to wash out my mouth and nose with water. The Italian pop music was still playing and there were some children examining the condom machine. I felt better and immediately got back on the road, listening to reports of accidents, staus and road kill on the old Becker radio. Arrived ten minutes before midnight, unloaded five wheels and a 19 inch monitor. Went to bed feeling feverish. Got up the next morning at six o'clock, had an Aspirin for breakfast and took the car to an early appointment at a specialist workshop.
After about forty-five minutes of driving, eating pretzels and drinking coke to counter my abdominal condition, sickness and exhaustion overwhelmed me. I stopped at a decrepit 1970s Autobahn roadhouse and sat in the dark with locked doors. At night these places are crowded with truckers, prostitutes and charlatans trying to kick money out of travelers. Eventually I forced myself to get out and walk towards the building in search of a latrine. The radio in the toilet area played tacky Italian pop music and there was an advertisement for fireplaces on the door of the cubicle. Coming back through the building I walked through a deserted cafeteria area which smelled revolting to me at the time. My stomach began contracting as I left the building, so I walked faster and made it to a dark spot near one of those wooden picnic table things before spewing 1.5 litres of warm Coke with Pretzels. The Coke was still sweet. Not surprising really, since one litre contains more than 50 sugar cubes.
Now feeling very empty, I returned to the bathroom to wash out my mouth and nose with water. The Italian pop music was still playing and there were some children examining the condom machine. I felt better and immediately got back on the road, listening to reports of accidents, staus and road kill on the old Becker radio. Arrived ten minutes before midnight, unloaded five wheels and a 19 inch monitor. Went to bed feeling feverish. Got up the next morning at six o'clock, had an Aspirin for breakfast and took the car to an early appointment at a specialist workshop.
posted by Karl | 12:09 PM
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